Jokes !!

76 kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par, dil mien junoon tha...aankhoon mien khoon tha, uthaya ussay masal dene k liye par khayal aya, kambakht mien apna hi khoon thA
77 hi u all i hv one puppy 4 u 1puppy 4 ur friend 1 puppy for ur fri ke fri u know why??? becuz....... ..... ajj hi meray dogi nay 10 puppies ko janam dia hai
78 Civic VTI jisai kehete ho wo gadi tumaree hai Jisey nokia 6600 kehte ho wo cell tumhara hai Jinhai tum aamon k baghat kehte ho woh baghain tumharee hain Kaho ik di kaho ik din Ager sab kuch ye mera hai to sab kuch dedo ik din Gari apni mujhe tum dedo cell dedo doosrey din merey hathon mai kaghzat rakh ker dafa ho ik din Dafa ho ik din dafa ho ik din...

79 dabe mein daba dabe mein kharghosh, uncle nae ankh mari anute behosh...... :)
80 teen dost tha phalla patan dosra panjabe or tisra memon.Ramzan ka maina tha dostoo na bolaa ka yar zakat dana ha too app log kasa datta ho.too phala dost patan na bolla ka hum khali maidan ma za kar gol paira banatha ha or asman ma paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa paira ka bhair zata ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo andar hotta ha woo humara hotta ha .fer pajabe na bolla ka hum ak lakir kachtta ha or paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa left hand par zatta ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo right hand par woo humara.fer memon dost sa pucha ka woo kasa kartta ha too usna kaha ka astag feroollha app log assa zakat kartta ho yea lakir fakir keya ha hum khali maidan ma zatta ha or asman ma husal tha ha zoo paisa asman ma gheya woo zakat ka or zoo paisa necha aaya woo humara.

81 Admi Naai Se Meri TERE NAAM Wali Cutting Kar Do. Naai Uski Tind Kar Deta Hai Admi Ghussay Se Ye Kya Kiya Hai ??? Naai Main Kya Karoon Main Ne Dekhi Hi End Se Hai.

82 Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
83 A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

84 Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

85 Safed saari par jab tum laalbindi lagati ho khuda ki kasam ambulance nazar aati ho farq sirf itna hai ke wo ghayal ko le jati hai or tum ghayal kar jati ho

86 janab patan: eak dookan per jata hai aor kata hai40 wala chawal hai. dukan daar: je hai janab patan:eak kulo dado dukan daar: je janab janab patan : 40 wala chawal kitna ka diya hai.

87 Aik haseen-o-jameel adaakara ke ghar aag lag gaee ..aag par qabu panay main 10 minut lagay.....aor. ......aag bujhany walon per qabu panay main 40 minut lagay

88 Aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par phool daal raha hota he Aur brabar men bhi aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par chawal daal raha hota he. Pehla Aadmi doosre se kehta he " Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthe ga?" Doosra dost:"Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga


89 uncle aik bachay se kehte hain : beta aik acha sa jhoot bolo agar mujhe pasand agaya to main tumhien paanch rupay doon ga bacha masoomiat se : yeh lo ! abhi to das rupay kahay thay .... !!!!

90 aik dost dosray se : yaar har party mien tum yehi kurta kyun pehantay ho dosra dost : kyun ke yeh mera khandani kurta hai mere par dada ne pehna phir dada ne pehna phir mere walid ne pehna iss liye main bhi pehanta hoon pehla dost : ohh acha .. khier yeh batao k tumhari umar hogai hai shadi ki tum kartay kyun nahi ..kya koi larki pasand nahi ati dosra dost : nahi yaar larkiyaan to bohat pasand ati hain pehla dost : to phir kyun nahi kartay dosra dost : yaar mere par dada ne nahi ki dada ne nahi ki mere walid ne nahi ki to phir main kaise karloon ??

91 Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with two men ahead of him. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man asked & was handed a ticket. Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!' 'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk. 'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh

92 The Equation: 7 Glance = 1 Smile 7 Smile = 1 Meeting 7 Meeting = 1 Kiss 7 Kisses = 1 Proposal 7 Proposal = 1 Marriage - And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems. So beware of glance!

93 Plan For Future: Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future? Ram: I want 2 b a pilot. Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor. Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother. Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.

94 Exams: Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS; 1,Too Many Questions. 2,Difficult to Understand. 3,More Explanation is Needed. 4,Result is always FAIL!

95 A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?" Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom 96 Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

97 Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil : The moon. Teacher : Why? Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we dont need it.

98 Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Pupil : A teacher.

99 Waiter : Would you like your coffee black? Customer : What other colours do you have?

100 My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

101 Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot. Sam : It's a family tradition. Teacher : What do you mean? Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher. Teacher : What about your mother? Sam : She's a woman. 102 Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed? David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.

103 Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Student : Brotherly love.

104 Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

105 Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor? Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died.

106 Teacher : " Hello boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible." One of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpaste and put it back into the tube again.

107 Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?" One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday, sametime."

108 Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ? Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office

109 A woman had 8 sons all named Kevin. On asking how she managed to call one in particular She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname !

110 koi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai :-)

111 Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes Why are you doing this? Sardar replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly

112 What is the full form of singh: S-sardar I-insaan N-nahi G-gadha H-hai.

113 Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga- mita dunga. Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.

114 Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? Banta singh: Post office. 115 Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya? Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."

116 Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge....think. ......... ... "SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"

117 Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho? Friend: B.A. Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.

118 A friend asks sardar how was ur exam? Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.

119 Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta. Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai? Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

120 Sardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek sardar jhad se ulta latak ke gaane laga, dusre ne pucha ki ulta kyon latka he, Sardar bola oye side B gaa raha hun.

121 Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?" "Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?"

122 Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women.

123 One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" ....... since Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window while comming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. when he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.

124 *** Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last wrote - THUNK !!!"

125 a sardar was going on the road.Then he sees a man who has met with an accident.so he picks him up puts him in his car and takes him to the hospital.Then the sardar realises that the man should have brought by ambulance.so he takes him back where he picked him sardar was driving a car. Suddenly one tyre was puncher.he took spear tyre and changed in the place of punchered tyre. but unfortunately he misplaced the four screws to fit the tyre on its place . he was so confused ,,now what to do,, a pagal(mentally retaired) person was watching this incident. He came near to sardar and said," do one thing,, take each one screw from the remaining three tyre and fit it in this new tyre.There after u can go where ever u want to. Sardar was so happy and said aree yaar Duniya tume pagal kahate hai lakin i dont think u are a pagal. pagal replied sir,, i m a pagal but i m not a sardar.

126 Once a Sardar ji rescued 6 people from a house burning on fire; But still the Sardar ji was jailed, why? Because all the rescued persons were fire fighters

127 TEACHER: Why are you late? L-JOHNY: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


128 TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!


129 TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"? L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!


130 TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O! TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!


131 TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America? JOHNY: George!

132 TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. L-JOHNY: Me!

133 TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty? L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

134 L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write? L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.

135 TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.

136 TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I". L-JOHNY: I is... TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am." L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

137 Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? " L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."

138 Question: There are 10 elephants swimming in a pond. A boy jumps inside and swims underneath them and counts the number of legs. There are only 36 legs.HOW?? Answer: One elephant was swimming BACKSTROKE!!

139 L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father : No. Why do you ask that? L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

140 Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

141 Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

142 Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!